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SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: This journal has been specially designed by a team of scientists (NOTE: Total lie) to be completely accessible to pregnant women, eppileptics, children suffering from chronic bed-wetting, people without heads, Ted Danson, and Canada.

If naseau or dizziness occurs while reading, discontinue use and consult your physician. DO NOT EAT THIS JOURNAL!




"JOURNAL 3000" is an exclusive look into the mind of Shawn, irreverent internet funnyman and the world's foremost plate-spinning midget enthusiast.

In addition to writing in and maintaining this journal (which makes the world a better place, one reader at a time), Shawn enjoys acting, watching movies, playing videogames, reading comic-books, getting high, getting drunk, fighting crime, and plotting to conquer the world. He also knits. It's up to you to decide which of those are totally not true.

Shawn loves to solve spooky mysteries and always tells the truth. We hope that you will read his journal, as it will take you on a series of magical journeys fueled by the power of your own imagination... and pure baby-seal oil, when we can get our hands on the stuff. Which, by the way, is a lot more often than you might think. Suck on that one, PETA.

And yes, Shawn knows wrestling is fake. So are the fights in "The Matrix", but none of you assholes were complaining then.



Remember: Shawn was probably doing this before you friended him. Not that he likes to toot his own horn, but sometimes Shawn thinks he's been pretty funny or made a really good point. Most of the time he's wrong on both counts, but since he's the only one with any executive power around here, he gets the final say. And Shawn says that he puts entries like that in his "Memories" section. Head over and take a look at what Shawn's already written... you know, in case you need further convincing that he's pretty much the coolest person you've ever met.

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